Good Day!

Spring has sprung and as usual, I have weddings on the mind! This month I will address one of the stickiest wedding situations around - remarriages.

We see quite a few remarriages in our society today. Many items involved in remarriages are the same as those found in first marriages. You must have a bride and groom, a wedding party, a marriage license, places to have the wedding and reception-general items on that level. Other things concerned with a remarriage need some tweaking.

Remarriages usually have the bride and groom paying for the entire event and gifts to the bride and groom are not needed. Many times the bride and groom will receive gifts, but those remarrying should not expect the same gift-giving that is involved in a first-time wedding.

It is now socially acceptable to have a large wedding and reception with a remarriage. Invitations, announcements and newspaper notifications are basically the same for a remarriage. Feel free to mention children's and former spouses names and whether the previous marriages ended in divorce or death. You will need to check your etiquette book on proper wording for any invitations or announcements to make certain that you are doing things properly.

The stickiest part of a remarriage is the challenge of dealing with the families. It is more important to go with the heart than with etiquette, if you must choose one or the other. The children of the families must get the most attention. Tell the children well ahead of time about the remarriage, encourage them to discuss their feelings, and involve them in the wedding and reception. If there is a divorced spouse, get their permission to have the children in the event-and while you are at it, inform the ex-spouse of the wedding plans. You probably will not want to invite ex-spouses to the wedding or reception, but common decency pleads for them to be informed. Children are great and we want to be sensitive to their needs, but generally speaking, no child should go on any honeymoon. The wedded couple needs that time to get used to one another in a new way without the distraction of children. I hope that this has helped answer any remarriage questions that you may have had lurking around you!

Until next month -
Greta Chaney